the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
