If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
