Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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