on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
