White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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