Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
