im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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