so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
