Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
