You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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