Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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