Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
