matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Gay?
German.
Pity.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize