yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
