We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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