I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
