Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
