i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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