Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
