Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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