how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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