She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
