Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize