whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
