YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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