Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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