I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
