No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
