Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Small penises have feelings too.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
