Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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