You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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