I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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