Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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