Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
