I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
