just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
