Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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