haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
