And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
