butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize