Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Even my vagina gasped.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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