if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
