The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I pour the whiskey from now on
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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