ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize