covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
