Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
