BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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