really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
