yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
