Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
