she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize