Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Boobs are out for the taking
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
