Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
