I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
