So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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