all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
