Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
