OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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