Is it normal to miss your booty call?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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