so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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