I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You took a bar mat shot.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize