We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
a search helicopter?!
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You brought string cheese to the strip club
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
