I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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