and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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