Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
