Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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