if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
