Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
