what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I have aggressive nipples.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
