am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
