The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Green mimosas i think yes
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
