Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
