Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize