I'm eating all of the evidence.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
50% drunk capacity currently
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
