Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
