And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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