Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
handjob tips. give me some.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
