Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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