Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
