yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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